One thing I have noticed in the recovery community is the glamorisation of recovering from an eating disorder and this is something I have definitely fallen for in the past. I remember looking at Instagram accounts and tumblr blogs thinking I wish I had done it like that and I was angry at going inpatient and eating the horrible food. Even while I was relapsing I remember thinking I'm going to do it properly this time and in some ways I do still think that.
You see the pretty Instagram pictures #realrecovery #chocolateovered and what not we have seen them all before a plate full of #foodporn for a meal or snack and you think to yourself that looks so good. Sometimes this is accompanied by a caption about great recovery is or how hard a challenge this was. While I love these accounts because they inspire me to push my boundaries and respond to my hunger cues, but where do we draw the line?
From an outsider looking in recovery isn't all fear food challenges and pretty plates of food. The harsh reality is that sometimes it's crappy looking food which you hash around with and then start hyperventilating at. It's scrapping your plate clean despite feeling greedy or wiping the microwave clean after your hot milk overflowed again (ahem or is that just me?).
What I am trying to say is, that recovery accounts can be amazing let's put the triggering stuff aside for a moment as they can give you food ideas, make you feel less alone and really inspire you to move forward in your recovery, but no recovery is perfect. If there was a perfect one size fits all formula I definitely would be buying it, I guess a part of it is trial and error and finding what works for you.
I won't stop following these accounts because they do inspire me. I am sure to some degree it is my unhealthy preoccupation with food which wants me to constantly look at these but I know with nourishment this will stop. I do feel like these accounts have inspired me to push through and challenge a lot of the behaviours I still had when I was in recovery before. It is inspiring to watch others doing it. I guess like with all things related to social media it is good to remember this is just a small fraction of someone's lives and they will only post what they want to show you (I'm not judging hey no one wants to see a just woken up selfie of me!).
Keep fighting however you're doing as long as you're doing it!